This Wells must retire

Good Egg Foo Young, the Council waits for you,
the Viet Cong and Minh are here for you.

Aah fellow Reds, you know why we are here,
we've got a problem, we're also out of beer.
Welles Hangen, Journalist 3X
Listen to the mob of budding film stars in the street,
a couple of mikes and cameras, and the whole town's on it's feet.
He is dangerous Chorus:Welles Hangen
He is dangerous Chorus:Welles Hangen

The man has brought his cameras here,
to spy upon our troops,
We better stop him soon or it'll be our biggest oops.
He is dangerous Chorus:Welles Hangen
He is dangerous Chorus:Welles Hangen

Look, Egg Foo Young, he's coming to our town
Quick, Egg Foo Young, we'' turn his volume down.

No wait, we need a more permanent solution to our problem.

What then do about Hangen the newsman ?
American journalist, spy of the week.
He films us while saying he's just a reporter,
One thing I'll say for him is Wells is a sneak.

We dare not let him run free in our jungle,
he keeps getting into those journalistic spells;
and next thing you know he's got film of our troops,
and it's NBC News starring, who else but Wells.

I see bad things arising,
we shouldn't let them know we're here with our troops.
We're in a lot of hot water,
they know that we're here now because of his scoops.
We're in hot water because of his scoops.
because, because, because of his scoops,
They know that we're here now because of his scoops.
because, because, because of his scoops.


What can we do about Wells and his cameras ?
we can't even bribe him, our offers he spurns;
he's getting so popular, we must be careful;
he gets higher ratings than As the World Turns.

Fools my wife even likes him
if we don't soon stop him, he'll climb even higher;
we must force him to leave us,
just like ole Chet Huntley this Wells must retire;
for the sake of Ho Chi Minh, this Wells must retire;
retire, retire this Wells must re,
Wells must re, Wells must re-tire.

(c) in 2006, 2005, 1991, 1970